Yesterday was a Friday in May or June which means it was a mental health day, therapy followed by the Sunset Singing Circle. In between I went shopping at Trader Joe’s. There was almost no line, a red-letter day indeed. Dinner was boring but inexpensive, KFC.
I get off the 4 train at Bowling Green and exit in Battery Park. Is there another subway stop with an exit in the park? You come above ground surrounded by trees not buildings. That’s the start of the entering Wonderland feel of the Sunset Singing Circles. Almost as soon as I exited I ran into David and his wife whose name I still can’t remember. I figured they got off the same train, but they hadn’t; it was pure serendipity. I usually refer to the “secret entrance” to Wagner park. What makes it secret is that it’s through a structure that looks like a solid wall till you get right up on it. I just noticed yesterday that you can walk on top of it. Next time I go I will take a video of the entrance and then climb to the top. I’d consider taking pictures of the circle from there but that would mean not participating, participating is what makes it special.
Fred arrived soon after we did, that was my crew of the day. While this is something that is wonderful to do by yourself it’s even better with friends. More of you need to join us. It will make your life better.
The day before was Lisa’s birthday. She’s part of Terre’s crew, the musicians that join her. She plays the banjo, that does not make her evil. The day before was her birthday so I wished her a happy birthday when I got there. Then we started he circle by singing Happy Birthday.
Carey once said that when I love something I want the whole world to love it. She is exactly right. It’s why I gush when I write. It’s why I take photos. Yesterday I tried something new, Doing Facebook Live videos. The quality isn’t good and occasionally, the Wi-Fi gets disconnected, but this is what it looks like from my spot sitting on the grass. I made a great sacrifice by shooting them, I didn’t get to sing the songs; if I had a suspect all that you’d hear is my poor voice.
When the singing was over I said my goodbyes and moseyed home; at least I moseyed to the subway. Come join me next week. It’s a magical place.
My therapist asked me if I was going to write about the suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain. I told her I wouldn’t because I didn’t have an emotional connection with either. I had never even heard of Ms. Spade and even now had to look up her name. In therapy I referred to her as the handbag lady. That is not being disrespectful. I could tell that she deeply affected many of my friends. I already knew that Mr. Bourdain did. My therapist’s question got me thinking and I now I am going to write about them. What I’m writing doesn’t require me knowing them, it’s about people not knowing them.
I’m sure the reason the therapist asked me is because I had suicidal ideations. That gives me enough insight to know that I don’t have enough insight to write about their situations. I don’t know what they went through, I do know enough to not speculate. I have seen people write that one or the other was cowardly, that suicide was the coward’s way out. It’s not. I’m not even sure if it’s a decision; it might very well be something you find yourself doing. I’ve only had the ideation once, it was a mental state unlike anything I’ve experienced. My ideation was mild and short lived. I had just a glimpse of what it’s like. If you haven’t even had that glimpse don’t even attempt to figure out what was going on in their minds and don’t make moral judgements any more than you’d offer your opinions on quantum mechanics.
Now it’s time for breakfast. I almost ate before I wrote because I was sleepy and figured the coffee would help. I didn’t need it, writing was enough of a stimulant.
Wise Madness 