I’m home from my colonoscope. I wasn’t sure if I’d have the guts to post this but the doctor saw them through the scope. I’ve been looking forward to making that joke all day. I might not be able to resist more bowel jokes: They are so hard to resist, that’s why I used the colon. You can’t say that I’m full of shit, I was cleansed before the procedure. I pretty much have none in me.
Last night I had the joy of doing the cleanse, drinking a gallon of plastic. The worst part is that it distracted me and I never noticed that December Songs, Amy Speace, Rod Picott, and the Wild Ponies did a Facebook concert last night. I love those guys. It’s something that I want to be a Christmas tradition but I’ve had bad luck with it. Next year, if they love me, they will bring the show to New York and give me enough warning to make sure I can go. You can tell that I’m Jewish, I use guilt to get a Christmas show to come where I can see it.
Today I traveled by subway, bus, and foot, to the GI center, I got there with four minutes to spare. I’m good. I had to get there an hour early so I didn’t have to get there right on the dot.
First came the annoying paperwork. One set of forms misspelled my first name. Then when they printed out other forms for me to sign I saw that they left a digit off my post office box. They are far more careful with medical information. They check, double check, and triple check that. The anesthesiologist asked me my name, birthday, my doctor’s name, and the procedure I was having, before she started. I’m delighted that they take such care to not make a mistake. I wish I remembered her name. I never remember the anesthesiologists name. I can always blame the anesthesia. She was fun. I love a doctor I can joke around with.
They put me out which was disappointing. I wanted to watch on the curved big screen panorama TV. I saw myself on it when I got in and wondered what was going on. They have the scope on before they start. That makes sense, they know it’s working before they insert it. The scope has three cameras, one looks ahead and one to either side, thus the panorama. It can see 180°.
I awoke and forgot where I was at first. The worst part is that my mouth felt like it was filled with cotton balls. I have trouble breathing through my nose when I sleep, that’s why I use nasal strips at home. Perhaps related to that the anesthesiologist suspects I have sleep apnea and wants me to have it checked out. Another thing to add to my health list. Cataracts have higher priority and maybe fixing the abdominal hernia. That’s what happen when you spend more than a decade without health insurance. Things pile up.
Before I went in I made a guess as to how many polyps the gastroenterologist would find. I should give her name, I like her a lot, Dr. Kwah. My guess was three. I was off by a lot, it was 12. As it’s been at least 12 years since I’ve been scoped that’s not totally alarming, just a little. One looks worrisome. We’ll find out after the biopsy. It is what it is. With all my anxiety, this I can handle.
Peter generously agreed to pick me up. I was prepared to take public transit home but I think this was for the best. I was a bit weaker than I remember being after the scope in the past. I got to have a music discussion on the ride home. That was an added bonus.
I was not as hungry as I expected when I got home. My digestive system had a lot of air in it making me feel bloated. I forgot that part. The doctor blows you up like a balloon so she can see better. Back in the days before anesthesia that was the world part. Instead of making an omelet I settled for a breakfast sandwich. Things tasted funny, I’m not sure why. I hope dinner is good. I’m treating myself to steak and a baked potato.
I’ve used the time at home to listen to albums to help determine my top 10 of the year. It might not be a top 10, it could be more and it could be less. I’m being tougher and rejected some that I love, but don’t love enough. Like my songwriters list, I want people to be able to rely on my choices. I’ve cut out some from favorite acts and good friends. The one I’m listening to now is on the cusp. The song playing is pushing in favor of including it. I have a thing for the epic. I hope to have the list published tomorrow. That will require a lot of hours listening on my part. It’s best when I can decide from relistening to a few songs. I discovered some albums that I never listened to at all. The most notable is John Prine’s newest, The Tree of Forgiveness. OK, this album made the grade; at least for now.
It’s late and I have to run to the store to get milk. I might make that omelet tomorrow. I have a busy weekend so I should have no trouble writing for a while. Just remembered I have to leave an hour early for therapy tomorrow; I hope I have time to write.
I almost forgot something important. If you are 50 or over get a colonoscopy; it’s a life saver. The numbers show it cuts down significantly on mortality. It’s not painful, the prep is unpleasant but if that’s the worst thing to happen to you in a month, it’s a great month.
Wise Madness 