I’m getting cataract surgery! Yesterday I had my first appointment with Dr. Schultz. Unlike the last time I attempted this, one visit was enough. As of February 4, I should no longer be blind.
What a relief. I haven’t been able to see well in years. First I didn’t have insurance. Then I had insurance but was anxious about using it. Then I finally got up the nerve and set things up. Then my insurance ran out. Now I’m finally getting it done. I’ll have a lot to discuss in therapy today.
Dr. Schultz’s office is in the main Montefiore campus, just a short walk from home. The appointment was for 1:45 but they told me to be there at 1:00. I didn’t get there till 1:15 because of a series of delays; the most serious is that I forgot my sunglasses. I was told to bring them because my eyes were to be dilated. I had to go back and get them.
It was all academic. When I got there I put my name on a sign-in sheet. That’s what they go by, not your appointment time. After 20 minutes my name was called. That didn’t mean I went in to see the doctor. It meant I got to go to a second waiting room and sign in there. I had similar issues at Mt. Sinai, they were worse. I waited for hours there.
While I was in the second room Dan joined me. I had asked him to come as it’s best to have someone with you when you leave because they dilate your eyes and that impairs your already impaired vision. I was Mr. Magoo.
Once I went in things not only ran efficiently but I very much liked the people I deal with. First I saw Winston. As I call him by his first name you know he’s not a doctor. He’s a technician. He was great, we were able to joke around. His job was testing my vision then taking pictures of my eyes. I’ve had my vision checked countless times but this was the first time that I looked at an eye chart in a mirror. I figured out why. It means they needed only half the space. The chart was behind me and the mirror on the far wall. So I was looking at something twice the room length away. He didn’t tell me my vision, just that it was awful. I knew that.
Then he put me in the machine where with the chin holder and forehead rest. He shined a light in my eyes and I looked at his ear. He took pictures. Next came the dilation. He put the drops in. Anyone know how those work? How does a drop on the outside of your cornea affect the iris inside it? What does it do? Make the muscle contract?
After the drops were in I had to go back to the waiting room for them to take effect. I had fun talking to Dan and noticing him and the TV getting blurrier and blurrier. I’m easily amused. As I have often pointed out I do well in medical situations. Everything gives me anxiety but a hospital setting just piques my interest.
With my eyes dilated Winston took more pictures. Then the doctor came in and looked at my eyes. At first I though him cold, but he wasn’t. He just gets businesslike when taking his notes which he voice records. The examination looks weird as he examines my eyes though multiple lenses. No more those little ophthalmoscopes they used most of my eyes. He doesn’t put his head inches from mine. He shined a bright blue light into my eyes. That was a bit painful. I had a red after-image that lasted minutes.
After the examination we talked. He explained that he can’t tell me that I need surgery, I have to tell him that I want it. He explained the risks. I didn’t have to think. I have wanted this surgery for years. He asked if I would rather be able to walk around without glasses but need reading glasses or need glasses to walk around but not for reading. I thought about it and chose reading glasses. I came up with an invention. Flip up reading glasses, like the flip up sunglasses ballplayers used to use. That would be far easier than taking my glasses on and off as I teach. Anyone want to go into business with me and make them? We’ll become zillionaires.
Then came even more tests. I saw this wonderful technician, the best of the lot, and I forgot her name. Her job was to measure my cataracts. First it was done with a camera that looks like what Winston used but the light was much brighter. I stared at a red dot of light, it looked like HAL from 2001. Then a bright light would go on. I couldn’t blink. That takes some effort. It was repeated with me blinking between measurements. She did my right eye than my left. My left is worse, that has made me right-eyed. I kept both eyes open during the procedure. With the right eye I saw the red light in a dark tunnel. With my left eye the light appeared to come from the tech’s face. I tried to change my focus to what my left eye saw but I couldn’t hold it. If you ever used a telescope or a microscope you were taught to keep both eyes open and just concentrate on what the eye in the scope saw. It’s the same skill.
Then came an ultrasound of my eye. A nurse came and put drops in to numb my eyes. Then the tech touched my eye with what looked like a pen with a light in it. I couldn’t feel anything. I would not know she was touching me if she didn’t tell me. After that I could schedule my appointment for surgery.
The appointment person, what would her title be? Was also great. She started saying, “The earliest appointment we have is … “ I was afraid I’d hear April. But no, it was February 4, two and a half weeks away. I was so relieved. They are going to do my left eye first; makes sense as that’s the worse one. Will I need new glasses? A clear lens on the left eye and a coke bottle on the right? Or is it not worth it as the other surgery will soon follow so I can get by in the mean time with one working eye?
The day was a lesson in modern medical economics. Medical technician is one of the fastest growing fields. I saw one doctor but two techs, a nurse, the scheduler, that sounds like the right title, and one woman who never introduced herself that guided me around. Then there were the two receptionists. That’s a lot of jobs, and for the most part skilled well-paying jobs. Factories are not the only places for people to work.
Dan guided me home. He said he was going to walk me into trees, take video of it, and post it on YouTube. Even though everything was very blurry I could still navigate. I could see the trees. I walked into one, but that was for Dan’s amusement. I also talked to a water cooler and acted like I thought it was Dan. I watched a lot of Mr. Magoo as a kid. Classic humor holds up.
When I got home I couldn’t use my computer or watch TV. I was still blind. I did something I never do, I listened to a podcast on my phone, radio-lab. I used to listen to that on the radio. It was not as good as I remember it.
I could cook before I could use a computer so I made dinner, my first Buffalo chicken wings in ages. My wings are better than most restaurants in New York. They are real Buffalo wings, no breading. By the time they were done I could see well enough to watch Gotham. The dilation wore off and I’m now back to my usual terrible vision.
Now to make breakfast and go to therapy. I’m feeling good; I’m taking care of my health needs.
Wise Madness 