It’s Showtime Folks!

I spent the night with two breathe right on and it helped. I’m not exhausted. I’m going to do this till I run out of my supply of medium strips. Being able to breathe is not a luxury.

I have two items in my ideas bin, one a very serious examination of prejudice and public policy and the other a typology of annoying people on public transit. Someone got excited about the latter so that’s what I’m doing today.

As a true New Yorker I take subways and buses almost every day. I see hundreds, perhaps thousands of people every time I’m on the subway. Only a small fraction are annoying but that’s still make the absolute number large. I’ll encounter one almost every trip. I said, “typology” so I will try to group them into classes.

• Space Invaders
  • Door Blockers: You’ll see this on almost any subway car with a moderate amount of people. Even though there is room in the interior of the car, sometimes even seats, they insist on standing in the doors blocking people trying to get in and out. Some will stand with the back to the door as it pulls in a station so they don’t even see the people trying to get on. They don’t even turn sideways to make it easier. I almost make sure to make contact with them as I enter. You also get this on buses, usually by the back door. There is an area with a sensor that will warn you, “Please keep away from the doors.” I’ve been on buses where I’ve heard that half the trip because they person wouldn’t move.
  • Head them off at the pass: There are narrow portions of a subway platform. They are usually caused by a stairway in the center. There is only a narrow strip for people to walk along. Some people insist on standing in them and forcing anyone trying to get by to the warning strip by the track. They force other people to endanger themselves to get by. When there is construction these strips can get even smaller. When that happens they put up signs saying to not stand there. I have seen people stand leaning against the sign.On buses there is a narrow area right behind the bus driver you have to walk through to get to the main compartment. I have often seen, and felt, people standing there even on an almost empty bus. If you are carrying packages you have to turn sideways to pass them, and even then you’ll brush up against them. Do they not realize they take up space?
  • Seat Hogs: I hate the expression manspreader as I’ve seen, and felt plenty of women do it too. Never use gendered insults; accepting them will always work against women in the end. More common than people spreading their legs is people sitting dead center between two seats. They will do this even with contoured seats which means they are sitting on a ridge. They are willing to put up with that discomfort to be able to claim two seats.
  • Close sitters: They sit down next to you and even though there is room on their other side will place themselves touching you. Why don’t they just shift a bit? Sometimes it might be sexual but I very much doubt that’s the case when an attractive young woman sits crushed against me. I think they are oblivious.
  • Then of course there are the people who feel that their bag or package needs the seat more than the people forced to stand.
  • Seat Blockers: On a crowded train some people will stand right in front of an empty seat so nobody else can sit there. If the person would just sit down it would leave more room for the rest of us.
  • Groups of people will sit down but not next to each other. Other feel uncomfortable sitting between them as they talk to each other. More about them in the noisemaker group.
  • Stairway blockers: You’d think there were no benches on subway platforms. Some people will always choose to sit on the stairs. Some choose to stand on the stairs. It’s like they don’t realize that other people are going to want to use them.
  • The people that walk onto or off of a subway car and stop dead giving no thought to the person behind them. It’s even worse on escalators.
• Noisemakers
  • The signs still say, “No radio playing” but it’s not radios that play the music today, it’s usually phones. When someone’s music is loud I’m, always tempted to play music on my phone but I don’t. That just makes it worse. As often as it’s music it’s videos or games. Haven’t people ever heard of headphones?
  • Shouters: Those groups of people that don’t sit next to each other have to shout to be heard over the train noise. I’ve seen four people come in together and sit on four different benches. Sometimes a group will spread out over a third of a car and all shout to each other.
  • Singers: People will listen to music through their ear buds then sing along loudly. It’s usually not music I want to hear even in the recording.
  • Drummers on the platforms. As if subways weren’t loud enough some people feel the need to bang on drums in a place you can’t get away from them. Nothing wrong with a gently played djembe but moderation is required.
• Smokers: This problem is getting worse, especially people smoking pot on subway cars. Cigarette smokers usually do it in the station, often on the stairs. The other day I saw one on metro north in an underpass standing by the no smoking sign.
• Professional annoyers:
  • It’s Showtime Folks! The first time you saw them it was fun. Those days are long past. Now they are both noisemakers and space invaders. I no longer pull my feet in or in any way inconvenience myself for their benefit.
  • Bible Thumpers: They feel the need to save everyone’s souls at the top of their lungs. I heard one unusual one who said, “God hates us!” He went on about how we are sinful and give god pain. God hates us but Jesus loves us.
  • Mariachi bands: I originally liked them until they became a thing and doubled as space invaders and noise makers. Many musicians are welcome. The solitary violinist makes the subway ride nicer. I met one young woman who was an excellent singer/songwriter.

  Who am I forgetting? I’m not forgetting children, I’m not a parent and though sometimes I wish the parents would try to quiet their kids I know that often, there’s nothing they can do.

  I’m not forgetting homeless people. There but for fortune go you and I. Their problems far outweigh the problems they cause us.

  I know women encounter various forms of sexual harassment and molestation. I didn’t address it as it’s not something I encounter. It’s also far more serious and I am keeping this light.