I’m starting to write before 10, that’s great. It would be better if I knew where this was going. I don’t want to write an entry about staying home all day. The food part was good. I made Philly cheesesteak for dinner with gnocchi. When Allison was helping me with important things I remembered to ask her something unimportant, how to pronounce gnocchi; she’s my Italian guru. I’m not sure how I should render it phonetically; I’ll try nyo-chee. Or is it nyo-kee. Damn, I already lost it. It’s tough to remember because in Italian Ch is pronounced K and CC is pronounced Ch. This has both. I’m going with nyo-kee. Either or memory lapses are the toughest. You always remember, “It’s the other one.” But you don’t remember which you used to think it was.
No matter what else I write that’s going to be my favorite part of today’s Wise Madness. I love finding the quirks in thinking that are universal.
I have been having visions. No, I have no become a mystic. I’m neither psychic nor psychotic. What I am is a person with sleep issues who has not been sleeping well at night. Instead I drift in and out of sleep during the day. In the times in between I sometimes have hypnogogic dreams. They aren’t like sleeping dreams. They often follow a line of my conscious thought and all of a sudden I see a “vision” of what’s “really happening.” That’s the subjective experience. Perhaps I’m thinking of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, a show I’m binging on now. I will see scenes that don’t exist on the show. Often they are in fast motion, lots of information packed into a short period of time and when it’s done I’ll just “know” what happened.
Sometimes it’s about the real world. It’s about whatever I happened to be thinking of as I drifted off. It feels like I’m seeing what’s happening to President Trump or the people around him. I speculate a lot about what his supporters think, and in the visions I’ll see exactly what they are experiencing.
I’ve talked about this with my psychiatrist. It’s not an uncommon phenomenon. When I’m fully awake I think about how this would come across to people with a mystical mind set. They would consider them “visions” without the quotation marks. They would think they are getting glimpses of the unseen world. I wonder how much of religion is based on hypnogogic dreams. My guess is that it’s significant. It feels so real when it happens.
Like sleeping dreams they fade. I should work on remembering them. There are tricks to do so. Writing them down is the best. I’m sure they have not just inspired religion but also art. It’s my brain freely associating, it’s mind stew, all the bits and pieces thrown together.
It didn’t do a good job of inspiring today’s entry but it will have to do.
Wise Madness 