Yesterday’s adventures were all internal, the furthest I got from the apartment was the trash shoot. It’s still raining today but I have to get out of the house and I have to get some exercise.
Internal adventures can be the most trying. I had to battle my own inertia and anxiety; that’s a battle that I often lose. I didn’t use the most effective weapon in my arsenal meditation. Why didn’t it even occur to me? I know what I’m talking about in therapy. Despite that I was victorious! It will probably seem like a small thing to you, but it was huge for me.
Ron Olesko approached me with a new project he was working on, Folk Music Notebook an internet radio station. He wanted me to be part of it. That’s my dream. It’s exactly what I want to do. The position he saw for me was Folk Music Scout. I would introduce people to new artists and projects. I would record a two-minute blurb and then a song or songs by the artist would be played. Sounds simple? It’s just doing what I do here and recording it. It’s not like I have an issue with public speaking. My only problem is with keeping my mouth shut. The spots would be called, Gord’s Gold. That was Ron’s idea.
I recorded a test spot about Emerald Rae. It was not a finished product. I came across as hesitant. It didn’t gush like I do in conversation or as I did when I was on the radio with Brian. But it was fine as a test run. I should have followed it right up with a better one. I didn’t. I let it go for months. The station became not a future project but a reality, and I still contributed nothing. I’ve been working up to it for a few months. I’ve told artists that I’d feature them. I planned what I’d say. I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
I thought I had discussed this in therapy but I hadn’t till two sessions ago. My therapist gave me the homework assignment of recording a spot. I didn’t. I was surprised at how seriously she took this when I told her. She reassigned it with more emphasis. There are other things I need to do and she said I can’t do them till I record a spot. She thinks this is essential for my mental health.
Yesterday I did it! It took me till late afternoon to work up the nerve. My subject was the new Bobtown album, Chasing the Sun. I started by writing out a script. I didn’t think I needed that; I did fine ad libbing when I was on the radio with Brian. Turns out that for this, I do, at least for now. It helps that my writing style is conversational. I always picture myself talking to My Gentle Readers. All I had to do was change that to My Gentle Listeners. I started with Bobtown because the album is brand new and fresh on my mind and I know them so well. I didn’t have to figure out why I love Bobtown, I’ve said it often.
All of these spots should be easy as I’m only speaking of musicians I’m enthusiastic about. I can gush. Gushing is the point. I want other people to love the music I love. It’s not easy but perhaps it will get easier. That’s the plan. I’ll record another today. I said that to make myself do it.
I have a confession to make. I haven’t listened to Folk Music Notebook until today. It reminded me of my failure. My reward for recording my first spot is that I now can listen. It is a reward. It’s exactly the live stream I’ve been looking for. I’ve already discovered new music. I heard Red Tail Ring, a band that I saw and loved at NERFA but haven’t heard from since. Here is what he’s played since I started writing this;
Bobtown – Battle Creek
Ordinary Elephant – Harriet
Abbie Gardner – Wallflower Days
Antje Duvekot – If I Needed You (with Chris O’Brien; Freight And Salvage, Berkeley, CA)
Red Tail Ring – Yarrow
Kelly Hunt – Bird Song
Jim Kweskin – Colours
Kelly Hunt is new to me. When’s the last time you heard Jim Kweskin? If you travel in my circles you’ll find this a beautiful blend of the familiar with the new. My job will be to provide some of the new.
The only problem is that it’s not the best thing for me to write to, it demands my attention. I’ll go back to writing to instrumentals but this is what I’ll find myself listening to often.
Wise Madness 