I’m not dead! I have been social media silent for two days and thought people might be worried. I’m not dead but I did have a Crohn’s attack. Not a new flareup but an intestinal obstruction from scar tissue. My small intestine is a bit of a mess. The last thing I posted on Saturday was that I had an attack coming on. Then I did something stupid, I went out Saturday night. It was the Hudson West Fest volunteer party. When I started to feel a little better, I started to make Mandarin Chicken, for the potluck. Then I let my putting that effort in convince me to go. It’s the sunk cost fallacy. I was OK at the very early stages of the party. I even do what I always do at Spiral Sounds Concerts, ran downstairs to answer the door. It’s my unofficial job. Then the attack caught up with me. I told Gidge that I’m not answering the door. I sat on the couch away from everyone and rested. That’s where I spent the rest of my time there. There’s a question of whether or not I fell asleep. That’s always a difficult question to answer when I have attacks. They are enervating. I zone out, does that mean I sleep? My subjective experience is that I sat with my eyes closed and tried to follow conversations. That doesn’t mean I didn’t sleep. Everyone there thought I was sleeping, that doesn’t mean I was. When I get like this, I don’t move at all. The slightest effort is draining.
I finally decided that I wasn’t getting better so I should attempt to go home. That meant a walk to the PATH and then a subway and then a walk home. I’ve done things like this before, I’ve even driven for hours, so I feel I can do it. The one thing I neglected was realizing how far it progressed. On the subway portion I realized that the contents of my intestine wanted out and as the way down was blocked, they took the way up. I had enough warning that I had the presence of mind to ask the person next to me if he had a plastic bag. He did. I was a bit surprised he stayed calmly next to me as I heaved into the bag. On the bright side, what comes out of your small intestine doesn’t smell, though it tastes awful.
I had a miserable night. When I got home and got undressed, I noticed that my shirt was soaked. That was from cold sweat. I’m sure I was as white as a sheet as the skin on my face was cold to the touch.
When I got home, I went straight to bed. I just through the wet shirt on the ground and my other clothes stayed in the bed with me. I didn’t have the energy to do anything else with them. Then the chills started. There was a battle between the cold and the enervation. It took a while, but the cold won, and I got up and got my warmest comforter. That’s how I spent the night, alternating between chills as my fever rose and boiling as it came down. Leaning over to get a sip of water from the bottle at my bedside was a major effort. There was also more heaving. To make things even more fun I had muscle spasms in my legs when I tried to move. Good thing I was prepared and had my little trash can with an empty bag at bedside.
I spent all day yesterday not moving. Most of the day was in my easy chair, some of it was back in bed. You can tell I’m sick as I was watching reruns of the Arrow. That’s what I watch when I’m sick as I don’t care that much if I sleep through it. I didn’t eat anything. I couldn’t.
Late last night seems seemed to get better. I thought I’d be able to have my visit with Anna this morning. I was looking forward to that. We haven’t gotten together in years. When my alarm went off at 8, I realized I was still in now shape to go out. I texted her to let her know and went back to sleep. I didn’t get up to 11.
I’m feeling quite a bit better now. I was even able to eat brunch. I’m supposed to go to the Jet-Pats game, and I think if I don’t move until it’s time to leave, I’ll be fine. The obstruction is gone, all I have now is residual soreness and fatigue. I went 48 hours without eating and that’s going to have an effect. After the first night I was able to stay hydrated.
Sorry for being so clinical but I want people to know if they have symptoms like this what’s going on. If it weren’t the weekend, I’d have called my doctor. I could have gone to urgent care, but they would want to put a naso-gastric tube in me and admit me to the hospital. I hate ng tubes and didn’t want to be hospitalized for something that I know will pass soon.
I hope I’m well enough to go to the Jet game and survive the trip. If all goes as planned, I’ll write again tomorrow
Wise Madness 