I expected to have more to write about today, but last night’s plans were waylaid by the MTA. Molsky’s Mountain Drifters played at Jenkins House Concerts on the upper west side. I was looking forward to seeing Bruce Molsky and it’s been way to long since I’ve seen the Jenkins clan. Somebody put a curse on me seeing Stephanie; she’s playing tonight but I can’t go. She and Reid are doing a show opposite the next John Platt’s On Your Radar in Rockwood 1. I’m considering sneaking out a bit from OYR to catch her. I can catch Reid’s set after OYR. I won’t blame the MTA I’ll blame the gods, even though I don’t believe in even one of them.
Under normal circumstances it’s very easy for me to get to the Jenkins’ house. I take the B train and walk a few blocks. It takes about 40 minutes. Last night I get on the B train which was waiting in the station. I heard an announcement. Due to having to replace a rail at 86th street there were major delays. Shortly thereafter the train started to move. I thought, that’s not so bad. Then came more announcements. The operator described it as “essentially bumper to bumper traffic all the way down to 59th street. There was a train in every station. The train stopped in the tunnel before we reached the first station, Kingsbridge Road. Then it sat in that station. 30 minutes after I entered the subway, I was still at Kingsbridge Road. I realized not only wouldn’t I get there for doors, it wasn’t clear I could get there before the show would be over. I gave up and got off the train.
Then I had to figure out dinner. I decided to walk down to Fordham Road and go to either Popeye’s or get dollar pizza. Too bad I was an idiot and walked the wrong direction. I found myself near home. I wasn’t paying any attention and when I left the station, I crossed over to the other side of the tracks so turned myself around. I ended up trying the brick oven pizza place a block away. It was very good.
To make the whole thing more frustrating I could have avoided the whole mess if did things differently. I had a lot of time between therapy and the show so decided to go home. If I had headed straight into the City, I’d have made it. If I had decided to see Pesky J. Nixon on Long Island, I would have made that, but that would have been a huge schlep.
I forgot to remind my therapist that the Charlie Brown Christmas show will be at the Common Ground Coffeehouse tonight. I wonder if she’ll remember. I’m reminding you. It’s performed by Heather Pierson. Carter wasn’t sure if I would want to go to that. I cannot imagine not wanting to go. I love Peanuts, I love Vince Guaraldi’s score, and I love Heather. I’m going to do the Snoopy dance.
I wrote a lot more about yesterday than I thought I would, I have something serious to write about today. A musician friend posted this;
There’s nothing more painful as a woman than having to be super nice to a harasser so that the situation doesn’t escalate. HOW IS THIS SHIT STILL HAPPENING IN 2019?
I don’t know if this happened in the context of music, but I know that it does happen far more often than you might expect in the folk community. As a culture we are progressive and feminist and believe in peace love and understanding. The problem is that as individuals we are people, and people are flawed. We don’t always live up to our ideals. Power corrupts. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. These are all clichés; they became clichés because they are true. The question is how does this progressive feminist community deal with the problem?
I’ll tell you right off that I don’t know. The reason that the problem is so persistent is that it’s so difficult to ameliorate. It’s not that we are uncaring. It’s not that we tolerate the situation, it’s that we don’t know what to do. We feel like my friend feels, that we don’t want the situation to escalate, we don’t want to make things worse. Most of all we don’t want to be made uncomfortable. The entire topic makes us uncomfortable. Sex makes people stupid more than just about anything but fear. With harassment, fear and sex come together.
There is one person in the folk community that several women have complained to me about. Then I started asking other women and many had either been harassed or had heard of him harassing others. When the Weinstein movement came to a head, he was the first one I thought about. He was what inspired me to write my first piece on this.
I thought, what could I do? I have no direct knowledge. He is not someone I know well. I have no idea what I’d say to him. I couldn’t mention the victims’ names without exposing them to tsuris. When I’ve discussed this with others some say that I should say something without mentioning name and that I can’t expect the victims to speak up. That’s the problem, it’s very uncomfortable to anyone that brings it up when it comes to an individual. It’s relatively easy for me to write a general piece like this but even that does not come risk free. I’ve seen others attacked for doing so, and they get attacked from multiple sides.
In situations like Weinstein change happens like a landslide. One person makes a move and that makes it easier for the next, which makes it easier for the next, and all of a sudden, it’s not disempowered individuals but a unified society. That’s great when it happens but it’s not something we can depend on.
I have no idea what to do. I’m frustrated. I’m frustrated by the continued harassments and I’m frustrated by those that think there’s a simple solution, one that always involves change in others, not themselves.
Will writing this make things better? It could be one pebble in the landslide, but I doubt it. At least it’s therapy for me. These thoughts run around and around in my head and sometimes want to be let out. I’ll brace myself for backlash that probably won’t come. Hey, I have anxiety; it’s what I do. I’ll brace myself for this leading nowhere. It’s what I fully expect; any other result is a miracle. But I really do believe that even though what any of us can do is infinitesimal, they add up if we all do something.
Wise Madness 