Last thing I told you was that I was starting three days of volunteering at WFUV. I thought that the only way I’d have time to blog is if I could do it from the station. That plan had to be abandoned when they decided to up security on the computers we use to take pledges; we are no longer allowed to go to any website but the pledge page. So how am I writing? Because they also let me out early today, noon instead of 6 PM. I get in at 6 AM. When I work from six to six I’m usually too tired to post when I get home. Today I had time to take a nap and now write.
On Tuesday night I went to the Knick game; they were playing the Atlanta Hawks. This was a battle of bad teams and the betting line was close. I had the Knicks losing by one and Alan by four. So, what happened? They won 143 – 120. That’s the most points they have scored in ten years. Because it was a blowout I left early which was nice as I had to get up at 5 AM the next day.
Going to the station to volunteer at 5:30 AM in December is not the same as it is in September. There are few people in the streets in the autumn, there are virtually none in December. It was dark and it was cold. It was even colder this morning; the feels-like temperature was 0°F. I was so bundled up I wasn’t cold at all. This was my first very cold day since I had my eye surgery. That means this as my first chance to dress properly for the cold. One of the most effective things to do is put a scarf over your face so that only your eyes are exposed. I’ve always had the warm wool scarf but that proved difficult as my glasses would fog up from exhaling into the scarf. Now I don’t have to worry about it. When I arrived at the station I was not too cold but too warm. I stripped right out of the headgear, scarf, hat, and hood. Tomorrow I’ll try and take a selfie while I’m all bundled up.
Last night I didn’t manage to blog, but I did record the first part of my top albums of 2019 show for Folk Music Notebook. I am planning on twelve parts, the introduction, one for each album, and then a recap. That will also become a blog post.
I try to be open here but there are some things that I can’t discuss; not because I want to keep them secret but because the process of discussing them makes them too real. I save them for therapy and for close friends. Last night before I went to sleep I discussed one of them with a friend. It’s magical how much better a supportive friend can make you feel. I am tempted to say that I don’t deserve such good friends. I’m tempted but I don’t succumb to that temptation It’s wrong on two counts. The first is that deserve is just the wrong word to use. Friendship isn’t something you deserve or don’t deserve. The titular character of Jurgen tells god that he didn’t expect to find justice in heaven as then god would be the only one there. Friendship is part of heaven. The other and perhaps more cogent point is that I’m not a bad person, if people do deserve friends why shouldn’t I? It’s very easy to be hard on yourself; you see all your flaws. My therapist, my psychiatrist, and the friend I was talking to all see the good in me. Hell, Luke saw the good in Darth Vader and I haven’t destroyed any planets lately. Have you destroyed any planets? If not then there’s a good chance you are being too hard on yourself. I see it all the time. It’s the time of year for peace on earth and goodwill towards all men. That includes goodwill towards yourself. That includes goodwill to myself. Appreciate the good within and without you.
Wise Madness 