I finally got myself together yesterday and went to the DMV to replace my driver’s license. Should I have given a trigger warning? The DMV is so much better than when I was young. I usually tell people that it’s well-run now and doesn’t deserve its reputation. Yesterday it worked very hard to shake that opinion. This is the sign they should place at the entrance.
When I went in I saw there were much longer lines than usual. I went over to the self-service line which was much smaller and what I have used every other time I was there. It’s part of what makes the DMV better than when I was young. I wasn’t sure if I could use it in this case. I asked the guy helping people, “My license was stolen, is this where I go to replace it?” He said yes. I go to the machine and enter all my information. When I was finished I was told I had to pay $17.50. The cops said it was free since the license was stolen. I said that to the guy, and he said, “it is if you have form _____” I said I have form ______,” and showed it to him. He said, “Then you have to go on that line;” pointing at the long line I had tried to avoid. I said that he should have told me that in the first place. He got angry at me and said; “You should have told me that.”
“I told you it was stolen”
“You didn’t tell me you had the form; I don’t know your information.”
“You should have asked if I had one, I don’t know how this works, I don’t work here. You’re supposed to help people.”
“I work security, I don’t have to help anyone.”
It’s even worse as he through some profanity in there and his entire tone was contemptuous of me. Before I got on the big line I decided to report him. I went to a group of security workers and asked to speak to a supervisor. One of them said, “What’s the problem?” I asked if he was the supervisor, he said no, but I should just say the problem.” Turns out that one of the other officers was the supervisor. When I asked who the supervisor was, why didn’t he just say, “She is?”
She went to talk to the guy that was rude to me and I got on the long line. I reached the front and talked to the person that sends you to the right window. I told him that my license was stolen, and I needed to replace it. He said that I needed form _______. I told him I have it right here. I actually had two forms from the police. He looks at the one he needed and said, “Lost is checked off, not stolen; you’ll have to pay the $17.50. I hadn’t noticed that. Every form that I signed at the police department said stolen. The cop that handed me this one for the DMV checked the wrong box.
I called the detective in charge of my case; I had his card. He said, “just show them that it says “Grand Larceny” on it. That was on the other form the cops gave me. I didn’t wait on line again, but went right up to the person I spoke to before and showed him that. He said it wasn’t good enough, the wrong box is checked. “But I have a form calling it grand larceny.” It’s been stolen. He told me that I could wait on line 2 but I’d be wasting my time.
I got on line 2 which was long and waited again. I got to the front confident that I’d show them the two forms; and everything would be fine. Silly me, these were dedicated bureaucrats, the facts didn’t matter, just that the form was right. I asked if she could just check the right box, she could see from the other form that I’m telling the truth. She told me to pay the money or go away. I asked her to just call the police and verify that I’m telling the truth. She wouldn’t. I spoke to the supervisor and got the same response. They acted like I was totally unreasonable to insist on not paying when the wrong box was checked even if I could prove I was robbed. The box was all that mattered, and it could not be changed. I really thought they’d just check the right box and maybe initial it. Maybe even verify it with the police. I didn’t think they’d give me “it’s my way or the highway.” The supervisor even said that the cops routinely check the wrong box deliberately to make their crime stats look good. I told him that they’ve been working the case hard and reported it as a robbery. I had signed forms that called it a robbery. This was the one form that was wrong. He still insisted the cops did it deliberately.
I called the detective back and he told me to go back to the police station and get a new form. That meant taking a bus to the subway to get to the Yankee Stadium train station where the police station is located. I had a little trouble getting in. Subway police stations are not open to the public, you have to be buzzed in and I arrived just as they were bringing in a prisoner. Once I got in the cops were all very nice and helpful. I explained what happened and a cop said that he’d get me a new form. One of the cops who was there when I reported the robbery was there, smiled and waved to me. The other cop came back with the form, filled it out being careful to check “stolen” not lost. The cops were all very helpful, polite, and even friendly. They are working the case hard, calling me every day for more information. I can’t believe they deliberately checked the wrong box. It was the most junior officer that was left to do the paperwork. He was a new. I’m sure it was an honest mistake.
By the time I got out of the police station it was too late go to the DMV. Guess where’s I’m going today. They better not give me a hard time. If they do I don’t think a jury in the world would convict me of any crime I commit in response. Don’t worry, I’m not planning on killing anyone or even of throwing things. Disturbing the peace is a possibility.
I’ve been good two days in a row and finished writing early. It’s only 10:18. Tonight I’m off to the Knick game. The one I had a ticket to that was in the stolen wallet. Alan is a season ticket holder an emailed me a replacement ticket. It’s on phone. I wish he would do that every game. I much rather just have it on my phone than a physical ticket.
Wise Madness 