I had a weird day yesterday, it disappeared into the aether. I woke up at 5 AM and went back to sleep. I woke up again around 7, turned on WFUV to listen to Thistle and Shamrock, and fell back asleep. Woke up a few other times and fell back to sleep. I finally got out of bed at 11 and went to take my pills. I saw my weekly pill box was empty and figured I took my pills one of the times I woke up. Only when I went to bed did I realize that it was Sunday, the box was supposed to be empty and I’m supposed to refill it when I wake up. Good thing it’s not a big deal to miss a day taking my meds. I was a sleepy idiot.
Because I slept so late I didn’t start off by blogging. I had nothing particularly to say so I didn’t push it. Then I took a shower before I went out shopping. Showers have always been one of my best places for inspiration. I think well when wet and soapy. I thought of not one blog, but two, one that would lead into the other the next day. They had to be separated because of the difference in tone. Then I went to the store. Then I ate dinner. Then I did other things. I forgot all about blogging. Let’s see if I can remember anything I wanted to write in the shower.
There are two types of clothing that I always seem to need to buy, underwear and socks. The underwear is more because it’s often the limiting factor that forces me to do laundry. It can last for years and I never lose it. I just had an adventure in underwear shopping as Marshall’s had no briefs and the boxer briefs I bought have no fly. Shouldn’t they say “flyless” on them. Don’t men expect a fly on underwear? I know I do. I broke down and bought briefs online, plain old-fashioned Fruit of the Loom cotton briefs. I don’t get lucky often enough to worry about my underwear being cool.
Socks are another matter. Like everyone else in the world I lose socks every time I do laundry; at least it seems that way. Who else has a collection of unmatched socks that you keep in the hope that one day you’ll find their mates? I sometimes do. Last time I ran through them I matched four pairs. Fine, three pairs; one was a “close enough that nobody will notice” match. I have a number of those. Everyone does this, right? I know that everyone has single socks sucked into a dimensional vortex; that doesn’t just happen to me. The comic Ziggy presented another theory that has merit. Little aliens landed their spaceship on Ziggy’s dresser. They went through his socks and didn’t know what they were. They decided to take samples home for study and chose one of each color. That theory breaks down as why would they do this to everyone and continue to do it? My theory is much better. Socks are sucked into a dimensional vortex by beings with godlike powers that use them to create new universes. You need a lot of socks to do that. It explains everything. I also love the idea that our universe was made from the socks of a previous universe. I’m made of Argyle. You know the people made from toe socks.
I admit I don’t have much evidence to support my theory, but people believe in many things that are far less plausible, like conspiracy theories, pseudoscience, quack medicine, and most of Trump’s Tweets. Notice I didn’t say all or most, I said only what I know to be true, that it’s many. I don’t have twitter and if I did I wouldn’t subscribe to Trump’s feed. His implausible tweets go viral and I hear about them. I’m sure he has many tweets of the “Happy Birthday to Melania” variety which are true. I’ll believe in any Tweet by him that starts, “I hate … ” I could have said “all” and few of you would call me on it, but I’d call myself on it. I strive to be intellectually honest. That’s what I’ll write about tomorrow.
Wise Madness 