I’m being good and writing before I eat breakfast. Three cheers for me. I wrote last night so not much has happened since then but yesterday I got on my wearing a mask hobby horse and missed other things. When I went shopping on Wednesday I didn’t bring a cart and carried everything in my one shoulder backpack or my hands. I should have brought my real backpack which is more ergonomic. The result is that I threw my back out. This is the second time I’ve done that. All day I couldn’t remember the first time. I knew I was at someone’s house and reached over to get food from a table but couldn’t figure out where it was. It just hit me. It was at Spiral Sounds Concerts. I don’t remember the struggle getting home but it must have been one. I came home on Wednesday with my back throw out and carrying the groceries and that wasn’t so bad. It got worse when I was home. I mentally prepared for days of pain. As soon as I was home I put on my medical gel cold pack belt. I did that before I put away the groceries. When the pack melted I switched to my heating pad. That meant finding it. It disappeared. I saw it was still plugged in and followed the cord. The pad was deep in the bowels of the recliner. It was a challenge getting it out when I didn’t have much strength of freedom of movement, but I did it. I was still in pain when I went to bed. In the morning I was pleasantly surprised to discover that I wasn’t in pain and could move freely. That didn’t happen the other time I threw my back out. I didn’t know this was an option. It’s a good option. I’m still not in pain today, just a little tender.
I had therapy yesterday at 9 AM. That’s not a civilized hour. I’m glad I had iced coffee in the house, so I didn’t have to brew any. I cannot face therapy without coffee. My therapist said that it’s better than not being able to face it without valium. I’m sure I could get by without coffee, but it does clear the cobwebs in the morning. So why don’t I feel the need for coffee before blogging? Would I write better with a boost from caffeine? It is a proven performance enhancing drug, an effective one.
I feel more rested today than usual. My breathing must have been good last night. I have to get my sleep apnea taken care of. I had a series of weird dreams last night. Two had my parents in them. They show up quite often. When they do I’m no specific age. In some ways I’m a teenager but in I have all the memories of my full life. I managed to have a disturbing dream with both duck and bacon in it, two of my favorite foods. My mother made the best duck but overcooked bacon. Even in my dreams food is important. In the other two dreams I was at the movies. The Beatles were on the screen. At first I thought it was a TV show they did then I remembered that the TV show as animated. So, I decided it must be Help. It couldn’t be A Hard Day’s Night as that’s in black & white. In my other dream with my parents which happens as I left the movie theater, so in a sense is the same dream, I had a little sister and a little brother. I have neither in real life. The little sister was Norah Jones, who was a young teen. I knew she shouldn’t be my sister, she’s Norah Jones, but that I should act like she’s my sister. I gave her an awkward hug. My brain works in mysterious ways as does everyone’s.
Now to make breakfast and watch Hamilton. Part of me thinks I should save it until tomorrow, July 4th. I wonder if I can find a place to watch 1776. I made the mistake of scrolling through Facebook and finding multiple posts that upset me. My therapist did a good job at helping me radically accept the irrationality and prejudice. I haven’t had an omelet in ages. That makes me feel a lot better than telling people that they are wrong.
Wise Madness 