I’m back to the blahs. I’m not as bad as I was on Thursday but I’m not right either. I was proactive yesterday and forced myself to take a walk. It was a beautiful day again and I know that helps. Unfortunately, the GPS on my phone got turned off so I don’t know how far I walked. It was probably a few miles. I’d feel better with the virtual pat-on-the-back from Google Maps confirming this. While I was out I stopped at CVS to pick up my Prozac. I shouldn’t call it that, I take the generic, fluoxetine. I should know that without looking it up, as I just did. It’s what it says on the bottle. All I ever remember is flu… . I’m taking a moment to remember it now. It sounds like a compound of fluorine and oxygen, two of the most reactive elements. Maybe the formula is FL-O-Ovaltine. Ovaltine is the tastiest element. Let’s see if this works. In one week, I’ll see if I remember it.
What I didn’t do is force myself to call someone when I got home. I watched the Met game, which is good for my mental health, but what I’ve been lacking is human contact. When I live my normal life, I go out all the time and see people all the time. My friends are the anchor of my coping toolbox. I don’t need to reach out much, as in the course of my life I’ll see people I care about. Now I need to make a special effort to talk. I need to go food shopping but I’m going to make a call before I go out.
That’s all I’m writing today. I was going to lecture, but I shouldn’t do that when I’m feeling down. The annoyance will show and that will lessen the lesson I hope to teach. Sorry for the brevity and for being a downer. Tomorrow is a new day. The rest of today are new hours. I know this feeling won’t last. The sun will come out tomorrow.
That wasn’t the video you expected. It’s what I needed. I’m only 30 seconds in and I already feel better. I’m the new Berlin Wall baby; Try and tear me down. I’m dancing in my seat. I’m not watching the video but listening to the original off-Broadway cast album. I’m feeling totally different now. A 3:47 song turned the world upside. That’s magic. That’s an honest-to-god miracle, what religion promises music delivers. Now I need to see it again, not the movie, but a life performance. I know that’s not happening for a while, but some day it will. I’m fine wearing a mask as I watch. I’m not up to that yet but “Lift up your hands!”
Wise Madness 