I’ve had a rough health day. I slept until 11:20 and my stomach didn’t feel right. I didn’t eat until 2:00 and then I fell asleep for a few more hours. My guess is that this is another manifestation of my Crohn’s even though I have no active inflammation. I know that as my MRI showed only old damage. This interfered with today’s plan to be productive. I’m giving myself a health pass. Writing this will have to be today’s accomplishment. It’s 8:45 and I haven’t eaten again. I’ll be skipping dinner tonight.
Yesterday I had therapy. My therapy is supposed to start at 11:15. In my attempt to be good about that I put my earbuds in my phone before then. When I do that it will automatically answer the phone. My therapist is usually punctual, she knows I’ll give her a hard time if she is 2 minutes late and insist that she owes me the time. This is a running joke, not an actual complaint. She was once significantly late and explained that there was an emergency with another patient, and she felt that I’d understand. She was right. Even though I get antsy I made myself a rule that I won’t call her until she’s 15 minutes late. I don’t want to be a noodge. I called her promptly at 11:30 and she said she was glad I called. She had called me at 11:20 and got my voicemail and was getting worried as I’m always ready for her call. I’m glad that her fears went to me being in the hospital, not me hurting myself. I did not get a call from her and certainly didn’t get a message. Her phone records say she called the right number. We have no idea what happened. There was a glitch in the phone routing someplace. No! That’s not what happened. I just looked and I got a voicemail from her. It went straight to voicemail. I’ll have to remember to let her know. So, the problem was all in my phone. I didn’t have a notification that I got a voicemail, so I hadn’t looked at that until now.
My therapist has tried to help me initiate actions by putting things on my calendar. That works, except that requires me initiating the action of putting it on my calendar. We tried something different on my initiative. I put things on my calendar while I was talking to her. It worked! This will be our new procedure. I said that at 2 PM I’d write my Gord’s Gold piece on South for Winter. At 4:00 I’d read my emails from Outschool and find out what’s going on with my starting to teach through them. Come 2:00 I did what I was supposed to do. I just wrote it but didn’t record it as there was too much noise. I knew that was likely. My plan now is to record it when the world series game is over. That requires my feeling up to it. At 4:00 I read the emails and found that something had gone wrong with my application. There was no record that I had already submitted my video or signed off on the background check. I’ve been cursed this year, there were screwups that weren’t my fault on the Census job and the working the polls job. I got my notification about poll watcher training two weeks after the session. I did receive a notification for that someone else in my building had training. I just put it in that person’s mailbox. I bet my ended up in their mailbox, but they weren’t as conscientious as I was.
I had it on today’s calendar to write a Gord’s Gold piece for Chicks With Dip album Stomping on Eggshells at 2:00. That’s when I ate. I gave myself a sick day. I just moved it until tomorrow at 3:00. I can postpone things for illness but not cancel them. I know this seems trivial to many people. You do ten times as much as I do with no problem. It’s something that’s difficult to understand if you haven’t experienced it. I have some friends that have, and they do. I have some amazing friend that haven’t but still do. One thing my therapist works on is that I shouldn’t beat myself up. It’s a touch job, she needs to challenge me; a therapist is not just a sympathetic ear. It’s another one of those things that there is no shortcut, no rule of thumb. You hold the bird too hard and you crush it, too loose and it escapes.
I just had to run out to my roommate’s truck to bring in the 16 lbs bag of cat food. I didn’t get dressed; my pjs are always street acceptable, just put on a jacket over my hoodie and loafers over my slipper socks. Why? There is no look of greater disdain than a cat when it sees the bottom of its food bowl. I think my stomach might be getting ready to feel better. There’s a lot going on in there. I feel the movement. Having Crohn’s puts you in tune with your body.
Wise Madness 