This is a repost of the December 29, 2004 edition of Wise Madness hosted by Diaryland, The Festivus Edition of the Horvendile Inquirer
What holiday do you celebrate in late December? Christmas? Chanukkah? Kwanzaa? Solstice? For 30 million Americans the answer this year was Festivus and that number is only likely to increase in the future. While many believe this is a new holiday it actually has ancient roots.
The origins of Festivus are murky, it seems to have been celebrated in cultures throughout the ancient world. The earliest mention in ancient Egypt dates from a fourth Dynasty tomb. On the walls are hieroglyphics and paintings depicting the rites of the cult of Festib, the toy maker of the gods.
In Mesopotamia it was known as the celebration of Marduk Festis. It commemorated the victory of Marduk over Kalek, a monster in the form of a giant slug.
One of the most popular Greek mystery cults was in the honor of the goddess Φηστιβα. The Cult was best known for the games in honor of the goddess. The most prominent of which was wrestling, which were called The Feats of Strength. This tradition has continued into modern times.
The cult spread to Rome where it was first known by its modern name Festivus. It is said that the Emperor Marcus Aurelius was an initiate. On the eve of battle against the Druids he celebrated the ritual and then won a great victory to commemorate which he erected a large bronze pole. The pole thereafter became an integral part of Festivus tradition.
The Druids after the defeat decided that the pole had great power and decided to do something similar. As they worshiped trees they brought trees into their homes and hung bronze decorations on them. This is the origin of the modern Christmas tree.
In the middle ages came the celebration of Saint Festivus. He was known for his generosity with children. He would go among the poor and give them sweets and toys. This led to the tradition of hanging toys and sweets from the pole by large ribbons. When the celebration of Festivus was banned the toys and sweets were left off the pole and the celebrants erected the pole in May to disguise their worship. This is the origin of the may pole. In modern times the sweets and toys were brought back into the tradition and in the Twentieth Century combined in the form of Pez dispensers. How many of the millions of people that hang Pez dispensers from their poles know the origin of the ritual?
The Hebrews in the days of the first temple celebrated the holiday of Festiba. The legend goes that the Assyrians attacked and ransacked all the olive oil in the Kingdom of Judah. There was not enough left to keep the ritual flame in the temple burning till more could be pressed. The Prophet Festiba went into the desert and prayed and fasted that the little oil that remained might last. He aired to god the grievances of the people and god made a miracle and the oil that should have taken a week to prepare was prepared in a single night. During the time of the Maccabees this legend was appropriated and metamorphosed into story of Chanukkah. The airing of grievances survived separately as a Festivus tradition.
The celebration has had a spotted history since the middle ages. A papal bull in 1488 banned the celebration. It remained officially banned in catholic countries until 1727. It is said that the founding Masons lifted many of their rituals from ancient Greek cult.
The holiday has had times when it was widely celebrated and others when it was only celebrated by small numbers in secret but it has never died out completely. It is holiday that has its roots in many cultures and its adherents in many cultures today. I can think of no better way to conclude but to observe as Tiny Tim did in the unpublished draft of Charles Dickens’s A Festivus Carol (The editors made him change the title and some elements of the story before publication) : “The Flying Spaghetti Monster bless us all, everyone.”
Wise Madness 