I didn’t post yesterday and did not have a good excuse. I have plenty to do today but I will write anyway. It’s being constructive as a form of procrastination. I know I’m not the only one that does that. How many of you have cleaned your house as a way of avoiding another chore? The funny thing is that the things I’m putting off are things I love to do, but there’s outside pressure. I need to record my first hour-long Gord’s Gold for Folk Music Notebook and then submit my February playlist for the Folk Music DJ list. This will be my first time doing that, which creates anxiety. It has to be done exactly right. The due date for both is tomorrow. In the middle of all this I have a chocolate party to go to! The party is virtual, but the chocolate is real. I’ll tell you about that tomorrow.
What I did manage to do program the show, …, twice. I prepare it as a playlist on Windows Media Player After I finished I forgot to save it. I don’t remember everything I originally programmed and I’m not as happy with what I came up this time. I still might make changes before sending it in. Right now, I have 52 minutes of music which leaves me only 8 minutes of talking. Is that enough time? Is it too much? I don’t know, I haven’t done this in ages. When I was on with Brian I would plan on 45 minutes of music per hour but it’s different when there’s a team. Banter is better at keeping the audience’s attention than monologue. I have an inner conflict; my perfect model of a modern radio DJ is Vin Scelsa. There might be some hours where he talked for 30 minutes. Jean Shepherd is one of his heroes and it showed. Shep is one of my heroes. The thing is that I’m not Shep and I’m not Vin, and many, perhaps most thought that Vin talked to much. You can’t be a slave to what you perceive the masses want, that makes for generic art. You also shouldn’t ignore the masses, that’s decadent.
The phone rang and I talked until the chocolate party. It was one of those people that I have no trouble talking to for two hours. This is why I have to watch how much I talk on the radio. Here’s a question, what fraction of the time do I talk and what do I listen? I’m always afraid I monopolize the conversation which might keep me from monopolizing the conversation. I don’t trust my own judgement on this at all. I also don’t trust your judgment. I know that enjoy listening but often listening triggers thoughts in my head that I want to express. Whatever it is, as the friend enjoys talking to me for two hours it has to work for her too. I’m research has been done on this. I’m also sure that if you asked everyone to guess what fraction of the time they talked it would add to less than 100%. People know that it’s socially undesirable to monopolize the conversation. I wonder if there are any phone apps that measure it. That would be simple to do.
As I’m writing this I’m listening to an 8-hour album, On Impulse: John Coltrane. When I write I listen to instrumental music or opera in languages I don’t understand. Coltrane, Mozart, and Bach are great to write to. Louis Armstrong used to be my favorite jazz musician, now it’s Coltrane, he gives me Mozart vibes even when the music is as chaotic as Impulse. Don’t ask me why, I’m just telling you how I react. Intellectually he’s more like Beethoven, but emotionally he’s calming. Maybe this is not the best tune to write to. I’d demanding my attention. Bessie’s Blues is better background music.
Yesterday I had my first therapy in two weeks. I had a lot to catch up on. The big question is always do I lead with the good or the bad. This time I led with the good, getting vaccinated and getting the full hour show. I can share the good with you, the bad not as much. I realized that I did share the bad with the friend I spoke to. That’s important, we discussed that in my session, that I have understanding friends. She also said that she has to keep up with more people to follow my stories than any of her other patients. Why do I love therapy? I love to talk, and in therapy I’m supposed to monopolize the conversation. It is more than that though, it helps me tremendously. When I’m not in session I still talk to her, I just fill in her parts of the conversation. Is this something that everyone does? I do it with my close friends too, and always have. I was offered the chance to change the name of my show from Gord’s Gold. I knew which musician friend I wanted to discuss this with, she’s knowledgeable and I trust her judgment. I couldn’t so I had the conversation without her. She filled the role of voice of reason. I have a brand established, Facebook Page and Mixcloud. All I’d gain from the name change is some amusement. I’ll make a deal with you. When I reach an average audience of one million people I’ll change the name. You can make that happen. You have to not just listen, but get every friend you have to listen, and get them to get all their friends to listen. It’s not asking for much. All I want from you is your total devotion.
Coltrane playing Greensleeves is pure magic. How did I spend so many years not appreciating this?
I’ll write about the chocolate party tomorrow. Remind me to talk about WandaVision too. That is also pure magic. Chocolate is pure magic. Therapy is pure magic. Friends are pure magic. As Heinlein said in Waldo, “Magic is loose in the world.” Never forget that; when the world looks grey and featureless clean your mental glasses, don’t blame the world.
Wise Madness 