I just resisted the urge to eat first and decided to blog. That’s a good thing. I didn’t write yesterday. Yesterday morning I got a call from my favorite receptionist at the hospital I get my therapy. She did not call because she missed me. She called to tell me that therapy was canceled. She still makes it feel personal, that’s why she is my favorite; she treats me like a person. There’s warmth.
Canceling therapy is not good. I’m going through a depressive episode, and it’s been getting worse. I responded to the cancellation in the best possible way; that’s not what usually happens when I’m depressed. I did a major meditation. I tell everyone that will listen how great meditation is. I tell those that won’t listen how great meditation is. Do you know how too often doesn’t listen? Me. There’s an initial effort needed to start the mediation and when I’m depressed, I find it difficult to do that. A strange manifestation of that is that my eyes hurt. Yesterday I had the wherewithal to get over that hump. I went for the full course. Usually when I meditate, I get in the zone quickly and don’t stay in the zone long. I knew I needed a stronger dose. I went to one of my two go-to recordings for long meditation, Heather Pierson’s Wishes of Lovingkindness. The other is Pete Kennedy’s Electric Sitar Meditations. The meditation worked wonders. It gave me the energy to get out of the house early enough to take my walk in the full sunlight. I usually end up walking largely at dusk.
Being out on a beautiful day helps as did having a goal for the walk, Maria’s Coffee on Arthur Ave. That was a necessity as without it I would not have had enough coffee in the house for today’s breakfast, the one I’m putting off until after I write this. I got all those endorphin hits, getting myself to go out, walking in the sunlight, and talking to Bernadette, the owner of Maria’s, Maria was her mother-in-law. I gave myself one more treat for old time’s sake. I went to Krispy Kreme for the first time since the free vaccine donuts ended. This was my thank you for all the free donuts. I won’t be doing that again as they are not as good as Dunkin’, they are more expensive, and I am not on their rewards program. It still felt food. I then extended my walk to Fine Fair to get half & half so I could make bangers and mash. I then didn’t eat bangers and mash as the bangers were frozen. I’ll have that today. I walked 4.56 miles. If the rain lets up, I’ll go for another walk today.
I then got another mental health treatment, a call from River. One of the symptoms of my depression is a feeling of isolation, a call from a close friend is particularly effective medicine.
I forgot to mention the assist I got from Alice Hasen. On Fridays she does one of the few live streams I still look forward to, Fiddler’ Friday. There’s always audience interaction, so I want to watch that live. It’s on every week at 5 PM and that was part of my motivation for getting out of the house earlier. I got home just in time to catch it. Or I would have if it weren’t canceled. She is on the road. I’m feeling good enough now that I can appreciate that she helped my mental health even though the show was canceled because she gave me motivation to start my walk early.
It didn’t click in my head until after I talked to River that it was Friday and that means new episodes of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. I ended up only watching one of them. That gives me something to look forward to today. My assignment for the day is putting together next week’s Gord’s Gold. I always have more of that done in advance than it feels like. I have 19 minutes programmed plus enough to fill a show in the queue. It is St. Patrick’s Day so there will be Irish music. The Women’s History Month set is all about Irish women. I’ll be introducing a new closing theme. This week I’ll play the entire song, after that just a short segment. You’ll have to listen to find out what it is. It’s the most appropriate closing song.
I had something political planned but that’s not happening today. It’s another mental health blog. I hope these do some people some good. As I said, when I’m depressed, I feel isolated. I’d like to think someone will read this that goes through the same things and realize they are not alone in this. People don’t talk about these things, that’s why I do, but many people go through it. I’ve had people apologize for me for talking about their troubles. You don’t need to do that. The apologizing is a common symptom of depression and other issues. I was once with a friend and when I came back from the bathroom found her talking to herself about how tired she is that she has to always be on and not show her depression. You don’t have to do that, not with me, and not with many more people than you think. I considered her a close friend; I’d be more than willing to listen to her. It would not feel imposed on but honored if she opened up to me.
OK now to eat breakfast, hopefully today I’ll remember what I’m making. Yesterday I popped an English muffin in the toaster and then proceeded to make One Pan Egg Toast. So, I had a sandwich with a buttered English muffin on the side. Then for dinner I made a meatball parmesan hero and somehow popped two hero rolls into the oven for warming so for dinner I had a sandwich and a buttered roll on the side. I’ve entered the Carboniferous Era. Maybe instead of the French toast I was planning I’ll have an omelet instead.
Don’t go yet. Listen to this week’s Gord’s Gold it’s a good one. They are all good ones. See the subscribe button? Please click on that. I have expenses related to the show and it would help defray the costs.
Wise Madness 