Yesterday was a mental health day; I had appointments with both my psychiatrist and therapist. In the evening I had the best emotional therapy the Friday night Sunset Singing Circle with Terre Roche. I thought it was my last time seeing my therapist. I was wrong, it was the penultimate session. I wasted much of my psychiatry session talking about my last therapy session. Not really. I will not see him until after I start with my new therapist. I love my therapist; I’m not looking forward to changing.
I was very much looking forward to the singing circle. Three of the first four were rained out. Yesterday the weather was beautiful. With all that mental health I still had a mental health failure I had planned on leaving early and walking down to Battery Park City from West 4th Street or even Herald Square. Instead, I wasted so much time I took the 4 train all the way to Bowling Green, the closest station. When I got to Robert Wagner Park the entrance was blocked by a stage. There were lights and sets up. They are using it for an opera this weekend and last night was the dress rehearsal. There were no signs telling people where to go. I saw someone with a Battery Park City shirt on and asked her how to get into Wagner Park. She hemmed and hawed and then started to take me around the back. Fortunately, I then mentioned the Singing Circle and she said, “Oh, that’s behind the Museum of Jewish Heritage.” I walked over there and still saw nothing. Then I saw Lisa Brigantino and her banjo walking along the water and went to intercept her on the way to the circle. I did and she showed me where we were setting up. If I had kept walking, I’d have found the spot even though they had not set up yet. I saw Terre and the rest of the crowd. They just found out about the relocation that day. I like our usual place overlooking the water, but I forgot my sunglasses and as the sun sets over the water that would have been a problem.
The way the train schedules work Fred shows up late and I was afraid he wouldn’t be able to find us. That fear was needless. He just walked up the waterfront until he came across us. Why didn’t I just call or text him to let him know? I forgot my phone. I cannot remember the last time I left the house without my phone. It’s literally been years. It’s figuratively been ages. That meant I had to entertain myself on the train. I am now well acquainted with the ads on the 4 train. I learned something, when they paint intersections, people drive slower and there are fewer accidents.
I was up front, so it was hard to see but I think the crowd was smaller than usual. With all the rainouts and the relocation that wasn’t surprising. I’m sure some people saw the opera set up and gave up. This changed my dynamic. As I’m a regular I usually let other people make the song requests and just chime in at the beginning when people are getting the hang of it and throw in the first suggestion. After that there is back up of suggestions and I keep quiet. Last night there were a few lulls with no songs in the hopper, so I chimed in to keep things moving. Once I do then someone always suggests another song. Many people are shy and don’t feel comfortable just shouting out requests. I don’t feel comfortable doing it, but I don’t feel comfortable doing many things, so I’m used to that. Though we started with songs primarily by the great “modern” songwriters, Dylan, The Beatles, Joni Mitchell, and Pete Seeger, there were more calls for what I usually request, the traditional songs. It’s a good day when other people request Shenandoah and Red River Valley. After doing this for years I’m actually beginning to learn the lyrics of some of the songs. That’s nice as I can look around instead of reading the words as I sing. Despite my less than good voice I sing. You should come and sing too. With Terre and the Terrettes leading us the crowd sounds good. It’s much easier to hit the right note when you are hearing the right note. I wish more of my friends would come. This is special.
After the show Fred and I headed home on the subway. We only ride together for a few stops. I had to amuse myself the rest of the way home. The ads were not as interesting. I slept part of the way.
I have allergies so I’m used to sneezing and occasionally coughing. It doesn’t feel the same as a cold or what I imagine COVID-19 feels like. The exception is when I roll onto my back when I’m sleeping. Then the post-nasal drip fills my lungs and I get that really deep cough that shouts, “your sick!” It shouldn’t fool me, but it still does. I always think, “Is this COVID-19?” Then I go through my rationality checklist. If both my shoulder blades are on the bed it can be allergies and so most likely is allergies. I sit up, clear my lungs, and feel better. I recognize that this can hide a case of COVID-19, so I test myself at least once a week. That’s my compromise between living my life and public health responsibility. I of course always wear a KN-95 mask. I often talk about this as it would be nice if those of you going out did the same. A friend recently asked me why so many people don’t mask. I think it’s selection bias. The people that are the most careful are not going out to the places where masking is necessary. I’ve accepted that there is nothing we can do about that. Others are more bothered by masks than I am or less concerned about COVID-19. I was just reading about a seeming paradox, masks are effective, but mask mandates are not. Why? Because even with the mandates so many people wear theirs improperly. Even in highly masked crowds I see too many noses. I try hard to not be critical of them even though I often don’t succeed. Telling people, they are stupid or bad for not wearing a mask is counterproductive. People go on the defensive and consider annoying the mask puritans a benefit of not masking. Yesterday the woman across from me took off her mask to cough! What was she thinking? The answer is she wasn’t thinking. She saw me looking and smiled. I smiled back. She put her mask back on. Then she stayed masked while more coughs came. And then she took the mask off again. We must learn to accept the things we cannot change. I can hope that perhaps I nudged her a bit in the masking direction.
I have no plans for today, but the weather is beautiful. My body wants to stay home and watch Stranger Things and The Boys. I will try and make myself go out for a long walk. I also have to prepare Gord’s Gold. I have it sequenced but have to write and record it and write the blurb for the Folk Music Notebook newsletter. There’s also a Met game to listen to. I’ll see what happens.
Cover photo courtesy of Kathleen Hassett Hochberg taken at last night’s circle.
Wise Madness 