Typology

Let’s see if I can brain juggle, watch the Mets on TV, and write at the same time. I’m starting during a commercial to give myself a running start.

What exciting things did I do yesterday? Nothing. I stayed home and watched the Mets. I considered going to Brooklyn to see Dayna Kurtz. I haven’t seen her in ages, but my body had other plans. If the show was either free or more convenient to get to, I would have gone. If the friend I asked to join me had been able to go, that would have changed the calculus. Being able to watch the Mets on big screen TV is a game changer for me. It gives me a reason to stay home. Like everything else it’s a balance of costs and benefits, and those do not have constant values.

I did accomplish something I have prepared next week’s Gord’s Gold six days in advance. I did this even though I don’t even have one of the songs I’m playing in my collection. The artist promised to get it to me on Monday. The song is a cover, so I inserted another version in my WMP playlist. I won’t tell you the song, but I’ll tell you that the placeholder is by Ray Charles and Natalie Cole. That version is my second choice; imagine how good the version I’m playing has to be. I’m now working on the show after that. A more important accomplishment is that I filled out all the paperwork for the new job. For most people that’s routine, for me that’s a big deal. I had that tightness in the pit of my stomach the entire time, but I did it anyway. I’ve learned how to better cope with anxiety but what I really want is to not feel it in situations where the anxiety isn’t warranted. I hoped that meds would do that. They don’t. They do wonders for depression.

When I was at Falcon Ridge I told someone that I hate more music than most music lovers. I talk to many music lovers and I’m confident that I’m right about that. It might not seem that way to you because I when I blog, I mainly write about those that I love. Just go back and read what I said about Talisk, Portal to the Dreaming. I don’t think it’s possible to maintain that level of enthusiasm day after day. As for the rest I try and follow the rule, If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Instead, I made up archetypes and aliases. Here’s my typology of artists that I don’t like.

The Act: This was about once specific act that I hid all evidence of identity including gender or whether it is one person or a band. The concept is generalizable. The defining feature of The Act is when faced with an artistic decision it is not made. The Act has technical skills but no originality. That is enough for some people. I have friends that love various artist that I’d classify as The Act. These aren’t even all casual listeners. Some people whose tastes I respect like the variation manifestations of The Act. Even people with great taste have blind spots. I suspect that even I have blind spots. This is not the same as people having different tastes. I don’t like the Nields, but they are the antithesis of The Act. People who love the Nields don’t have a blind spot, they simply like something different than I do.

The Ermine Violin: You can thank Mr. Spock for coming up with this one. In The Trouble With Tribbles Mr. Spock asks Uhura what people see in Tribbles. She said, “They are soft and make a pleasing sound.” Spock came back with, “So would an Ermine Violin but I see no reason to want one.” Ermine violins appeal only to the senses with shallow engagement. Imagine a Stradivarius played unskillfully. Ermine Violins have pleasing voices or make pleasing harmonies, but once you’ve heard the sound there is no more. Ermine Violins are often also The Act. Remember the first time you heard Andean Pipes? How cool they sounded? You soon lost interest. Andean Pipers are Ermine Violins.

Nice People Playing Nice Songs Nicely: This is by far the most common typology. If you look at any random collection of singer/songwriters most will be Nice People Playing Nice Songs Nicely. They don’t set your mind racing. They don’t make you see the world differently. They don’t tell marvelous stories. Like the earth in Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy they can be encapsulated by “Mostly Harmless.” They are nice people; you want to like them. You do like them; you just don’t love their music. It’s not offensive, it’s not painful to listening to. Mostly you sit there while they engage half your mind, and you think of other things and every once in a while, find something that rises above that. Sometimes they engage none of your mind and you sit there with your mind wandering and applaud when you hear other people do it. Sometimes I like the people so much it pains me to not love the music.

The Overly Ernest: These are the musicians that Tom Lehrer parodied in Folk Song Army. They are “against poverty, war, and destruction, not like the rest of you squares.” The songs are often a mix of cheer lines and filler. Throw in “Trump Sucks!” and a folk crowd will like it no matter how unartful the rest of the song. I’m sure there are mirror images of this on the right. They say things like “Witch Hunt!” or “America is being invaded!” I love a good protest song. Unfortunately, most aren’t good. This is a seductive flaw, who can turn down a proven crowd pleaser? I’ve known musicians I usually love fall victim to this.

That doesn’t include all acts I don’t love. There are musicians so bad you can’t imagine what they are thinking performing in front of an audience. One of my friends said, “You like when they come up when you are judging a contest; You give them a 1 and don’t have to think about it.” They do things like each sing in their own key and play in a third. This is exceedingly rare and not worth considering an archetype.  

That should get all the negativity out of my head for a while. Now I’ll go back to telling you how much and why I love what I love.