Sorry I’ve been away so long. It’s been busy at school and I haven’t had time to write there. I’m usually too busy or tired when I get home. Now that I’m back I’m going to write something unpopular.
Friends, Facebookers, Countrymen, lend me your eyes.
I come to praise Amazon, not to bury it.
I was going to parody the entire eulogy but thought better of it. I don’t want to praise Amazon that much or to condemn its critics by comparing them to an assassin. They are honorable men and women and I say that with no irony. I just want to recount my experience with Amazon this week. A week ago, I broke my French press. I take my coffee seriously, my wellbeing shattered along with the glass. Did I mourn? No. Did I get dressed and run out to a store to hope they had a reasonably priced reasonably good French press? No. I went on Amazon. Made a quick check to see if there were any good deals available, then went along the path of least resistance and just bought the same press that I just broke. I was lucky as it was on sale. It came on Monday while I was at school. On Sunday I had hot chocolate and on Monday stopped at Dunkin’ on the way to school. On Tuesday I used the new press. Something seemed wrong, the top wobbled when I pressed down. As I was running off to school I did not investigate. The same thing happened on Wednesday, and this time I investigated. I saw that the small plastic part that anchors the lid to the shaft was broken. The press was usable but annoying and I suspect wouldn’t last. I checked to see what I could do on the Amazon website. I didn’t want to have to send it back, wait for them to get it, and then wait for a replacement. That would be too many days without coffee. I didn’t have to! They have an amazing return policy. They immediately sent me a replacement. That arrived yesterday, Friday. I used the defective press in the meantime. Now all I have to do is return it. There’s no need to pack it in the original box and mail it off to Amazon. I just need to take the broken press, not necessarily in its package, to a UPS store or Whole Foods and drop it off. That’s it! As long as they get it in a month, I pay nothing. If I don’t, then I have to pay for the replacement. Amazon gave me something of great value, time. That wasn’t all. My school said that we have to up our clothing game, no jeans. Instead of taking the time to go to a store and trying on clothes, I made a few clicks and bought pants, socks, and shoes. I hate clothes shopping.
Amazon dominates the field because it built a better mousetrap. It’s aided by network effects. I love that I don’t have to enter my address or credit card number with each transaction. What they call one-click shopping really does take one click. For someone with my disposition the entire process is vastly better and less unpleasant than brick and mortar shopping.
That does not mean I absolve Amazon of its sins. I hate their anti-union attitude. Like Walmart they take advantage of the monopsony to mistreat their suppliers. The one thing that should be illegal is them selling their own brands. They are using the information they glean from people buying a seller’s product to put themselves in direct competition with the sellers. Elizabeth Warren, who I still wish were president, wants to ban that practice. As much as I enjoy the deals and convenience, I will not by Amazon brand products.
The one criticism that is unfair, is about how they treat their workers. I’m not saying that they don’t mistreat them, but that the local businesses we are supposed to go to instead are just as bad if not worse. At least Amazon employees get benefits. Workers without bargaining power are going to get the short end of the stick. We need to promote unions and to use labor regulations to keep employers in line, whether they are Amazon or Joe’s Hardware. I put the blame on Reagan and the anti-union forces he empowered.
Amazon got rich and powerful by doing something very well. I don’t grudge them that. It is up to the government to regulate that power for the public good. We need to do a much better job of it. Amazon with fight that, just as almost all businesses do, right down to Joe at the hardware store.
In the meantime when I need something I will continue to buy it with a few clicks on my computer and phone. I’m not going to cut off my nose to spite my face. Please don’t hate me.
Wise Madness 