Sorry I haven’t been writing. I’ve been either busy or tired. I’ve had some commuting hell. On Monday I went to the Knick game, they lost, but that’s not the point. The point is that I leave the game after my theoretical bed time. I’m never actually in bed then but that’s my goal. If I go to a Knick game I’m pretty much limited to six and a half hours of sleep. This game ran long. Fine, I can still get six hours of sleep. I checked the MTA App and saw the C, which runs local was the next train scheduled. I ran to the local track. The E came first, OK, fine. The problem is that the C then came on the express track and I missed it. The next train scheduled was the express A so I went to the express track. The A ran on the local track so I missed that. I went back to the local track and an E came before the A. I took that even though it’ bit out of the way I can still take it to the D. All those missed trains cost me over 20 minutes. That is not as bad as I felt.
Coming home from school on Tuesday was worse. I take the L in Brooklyn and switch to the 4 or D in Manhattan. It’s two trains but an easy commute. The L has all new switches which makes it the best train in the City. They run every four minutes like clockwork. Famous last words. There was debris on the tracks in Manhattan. That happened when I was already on the train. After one stop we sat in the station for what seemed like forever, then it reversed. I had to now figure out how to get home without the only direct train into Manhattan. I probably should have walked to the M train. I decided to take the G up to Queens where I can get the E that connects to my D. The G is at the same station. The G platform was so crowded I couldn’t get on it. I took the G the opposite direction, away from home, because I knew I could get out at Fulton and walk to Atlantic Avenue and get the D which would take me home. It did but I got home an hour late.
Last night was Parent-Teacher conferences so I couldn’t write then. We have more in an hour and a half. I’m trying to get this written before then. I enjoy the conferences. Most of the parents I most wanted to talk to came, that means the very good and very bad students. As a side note I enjoy comparing how they look with their parents. I wonder what the parents think of me. I act like me, which is not quite off the rack. I think I make good impression, I clearly care.
I came to a big decision this week. I always read Your Local Epidemiologist to keep abreast of the COVID-19 situation. I discovered that as of now we are at the pre-pandemic levels of hospitalization and doctor visits. Deaths are still higher but that’s because COVID has been added to the previous endemic diseases. I’m fully vaccinated so not at much risk of dying so I have finally stopped masking. That doesn’t mean that I will never mask again. The risks go back up and my mask comes right back on. I will not judge your decisions. I will judge if you judge others. My risk-reward balance is as of now living the way I used to, except that I continue to wash my hands more often and more thoroughly. I’ve been meaning to try that forever.
For reasons too involved to explain now, I currently don’t have a therapist. That’s not good. I need therapy. I caught myself falling into the loneliness-depression vortex. I was contemplating writing about why I’m lonely. I won’t. That’s not good for my mental health. I’ll leave that despite my large number of friends I do have some objective reasons to be lonely. That doesn’t make it inevitable. Instead of feeling sorry for myself I did something positive. I had a break between classes and the meetings with parents. I did two important self-care steps. First, I left the building and walked to a new Ice Cream shop I read about. I can’t resist artisan ice cream. The place is called, Thick Ice Cream. It’s a 20 minute walk away. The ice cream is great and they have creative ways of serving it. I just had a cup, as I wanted to try the ice cream unadulterated, but next time I get it on a brownie, muffin, or taco shell. My only issue was that it was too hard for my taste. I ate it in the shop. Next time I’ll take it back to school or eat it on the subway after it’s had time to soften. The woman working there, Mo, was delightful. We chatted the entire time I ate. An employee like that is worth her weight in gold.
On the way back I did something more involved with loneliness, I called friends I haven’t talked to in way too long. The first two didn’t answer. The third was someone I haven’t spoken to in just about a year. It’s difficult to call someone under those circumstances. I was glad I did. He was so happy to hear from me and I was so happy to talk to him. That’s far better than dwelling on what’s missing from my life. Hell, one of the things I’ve been missing was him.
They are serving us lunch at school. That means I didn’t bring my usual peanut butter sandwich. I usually eat early, around 10:30. It’s now 11:20 so I’m starving. I’ll see lunch is ready now. I hope you are as happy to hear from me as my friend was.
Wise Madness 