Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa. Forgive me Gentle Readers for I have sinned. Last you heard from me I was planning on going to see The Ladles at Sunny’s in Red Hook Brooklyn. It had been on my calendar since it was announced. They are one of my favorite bands and I have not seen them enough. The only reason going wasn’t a slam dunk was that it’s an hour and a half trip from home and the timing was such that it was easiest to go home from school in Brooklyn before heading back to Brooklyn for the show. It took three things for me to not go. One, I was tired from getting up at 5:30 AM. Two, the people that I asked to go with me couldn’t make it, three the Mets were on TV at home. All that led to me wimping out and staying home. As of now I have no music on my calendar for two weeks. That’s far too long. Is this indicative of depression? Perhaps, I have not been in therapy for weeks and I’m feeling it. There are things that I want to talk about with no one to say them to.
I did penance by working on Gord’s Gold. I did so much work that I was able to record the show and even submit it on Saturday. I’ve never done that before. It’s been easy the last few weeks as I’m getting so much good new music that I want to play ASAP. There have been fewer theme sets than usual. That makes things difficult, I need to find a way to turn thematically unconnected songs into a show. That means finding less obvious connections. I had to play more than usual on the sequencing. Perhaps I should do that professionally. Would artists pay to help someone sequence an album? It’s not like I’d charge much. If you have any ideas about that let me know.
I made an important discovery; many more people will read blog entries that I finish and then post online. Something interrupted me as I was writing on Sunday, and I never finished this. As it only existed on my computer, I couldn’t finish it at school. We are doing testing and I wasn’t proctoring today so I had plenty of time to write. I did take a break for ice cream at the best ice cream in Brooklyn, perhaps New York City, Gelateria Gentile. They are expensive but excellent and the put a hat on their ice cream cones.
Sadly, I didn’t notice that they serve gelato on brioche, that’s how they eat it in Sicily and southern Italy. Now I have to go back and order that. This is how I self-medicate, chocolate. It works pretty well. Know what else works well? Talking to a good friend. River called me yesterday and after telling them that I’ve felt down and had nobody talk about it with, I talked about it with them. I’m not in therapy at the moment but I’m using what I learned in therapy, or I’d be a mess instead of a little down. I’m avoiding catastrophizing. That’s more than I can say about some Met fans. The Mets signed a Japanese pitcher, Kodai Senga, one of the best in the Japanese leagues. He was visually agitated before taking the mound in his first start and allowed the first four men to reach base and a run to score. Someone on Facebook immediately said, “He’s going to go 6-14 with an ERA of 5.” That was the last run he allowed, he dominated the rest of the way, eight strikeouts in 5.1 innings. That kind of thing I can stay rational about. It’s much easier when it’s not personal. It’s harder in my personal life.
I’ve done a poor job with healthy eating the last few days. The ice cream was fine but the bag of peanut butter filled pretzels wasn’t. I don’t have room for dinner now. I’ve been doing things like that. I will make the extra effort to not allow it to happen again. I did a good job reading an email from school. It was about my personal days. I worried that maybe I had taken too many. I hadn’t of course. I have taken two out of the ten I get. I reluctantly stay until four when I have nothing productive to do, but I need a good reason to not show up for work. I was the same when I was a student. I’m good at showing up. I started this entry by feeling guilty about not going to a concert.
I better post this before I forget again.
Wise Madness 