I have big news but still had trouble finding the wherewithal to write. After vegetating most of the day I made a concerted effort at self-care and now I can write. Let’s start with the big news. My writing funk started when my school told me to not expect to be rehired for the fall semester. There’s a major teacher shortage but my old school somehow felt this was the time to clean house and replace most of the math department, including me. I have not been in therapy forever and couldn’t deal with it. That didn’t stop me from looking for a new position. My inbox has been filled with emails about teacher openings. I was neither hopeful nor despondent, I just didn’t deal with it emotionally. That’s not healthy, and I lapsed into depressive behavior. Then last week I had an interview at what seemed to be a wonderful school on the Lower East side, right by the Bowery Ballroom and a short walk to Rockwood Music Hall. Best of all it’s a one-train straight shot commute.
The news got better when they told me how the interview would go, I would teach an algebra one lesson of my choice. As insecure as I am, I know I’m a great teacher. I didn’t even prepare my lesson, solving linear equations. I didn’t know what they’d think of that, my old school would not have been happy, but it’s how I teach best. Things got better when I met the class, they were wonderful, much better attitude than my old students. They responded to me, and I responded to them. I even came up with a great new analogy. I compared solving equations to a balance scale. Everything went swimmingly.
Then I had the actual interview. If I make it to a teaching interview, I’m in good shape. As well as I know math my greatest asset might be people skills. I come across as energetic, funny, competent, and confident. Not only that but I use the Oxford comma. Sure, that doesn’t come out in the interview but I’m sure it comes across.
It turns out that though the interview is on the lower east side the school is moving over to Bleecker Street in Greenwich Village. That’s still a one train commute, a few fewer stops. I love that neighborhood. I intend on eating at Cones Ice Cream every day. In anticipation, after the interview I went for a great brunch at the Grey Dog. Then I went for some real mental health food, a cannolo from what Allison says is the best cannoli bakery in Little Italy, “Figo il gelato Italiano.” Allison leads the Cannoli Crawl|New York City. She certified me as a cannoli connoisseur.
Even after that great day I did not feel up to writing. The school told me that I’d hear in a week. I felt good enough about it that when I didn’t hear from them, I didn’t think the worst. On the eighth day they called me. I got the job! Huzzah! The delay came because the principal was busy with the school moving. I get that. I liked him quite a bit. So why didn’t I write then? I had reasons I don’t want to distract you with now, something triggered my depression.
Yesterday I vegetated. As I said earlier, I started today vegetating. I have not been making good dinners either. Yesterday I went to McDonalds. Some time in the afternoon I put my foot down and chose self-care. It was a beautiful day, so I went to the New York Botanical Garden for the first time this year. Last year I went twice a week. I have not been practicing self-care. I walked over five miles and came back home in better shape. My favorite parts of the Garden are the wilds and forests, not the flowers. My heart is closer to that of the ents than the entwives. I was singing Gentle Arms of Eden to myself. I was thinking of Lord of the Rings. I’m rereading that, it’s part of my self-care. The unhealthy thoughts receded. When I got home, I made a real dinner, roast jerk chicken and a baked potato. I had coffee ice cream with chocolate sauce for dessert. I’m watching the Met game. I’m writing! I am proud of this week’s Gord’s Gold. I’ll post it at the end of this. I’ll post some pictures I took at the Garden too. I have one song to fill in for next week’s Gord’s Gold. One more thing, I had a colonoscopy and my doctor found only three polyps and no signs of inflammation. I went to a Met game, they won. I’m watching the Mets as I write this, and they just finished another win. If I’m feeling as good as I did on the way home from the Garden I might write about my depressive episode. I was able to think about it analytically, not emotionally, as I was walking, I love thinking about my thinking. OK. Here are some photos and then listen to Gord’s Gold.
Wise Madness 