Today you get to hear about my MRI, isn’t that exciting? It actually is, it’s amazing technology. I feel like I’m living in the future when I get one. There is prep involved that isn’t pleasant but was much better than I remembered it. Four hours before the procedure I had to take two teaspoons of Metamucil. As I described last time it looks like dirty swamp water and has the consistency of phlegm, not very appetizing. This time I took precautions to make it less unpleasant. First I refrigerated the water I mixed in it. I read that it should be as cold as you can get it. Then I added two teaspoons of sugar to it. Mary Poppins was right; a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down. I was able to drink it quickly. I put it in the “if that’s the worst thing that happens to me in a day then it’s a good day” class.
The imaging center is a 15-minute walk from my house so I can arrive exactly on time. That’s a great thing about walking, you never have to worry about traffic. It takes the same amount of time each trip. When I arrived, I saw the receptionist was wearing a Yankees mask. I was wearing a Mets cap. I just had to wait for my opening, and he gave it to me. My appointment was for 3:00 but I had to arrive at 1:30 for prep. When he saw my appointment time he said, “Your appointment is not until 3:00.” First I said that the reason I was early, then I pounced on my opening. “When I saw your mask, I knew you would give me a hard time!” and pointed at my cap. He laughed out loud! That was my second trip there that I made the receptionist laugh. Few things make me feel better than giving someone a laugh. Later he came over to give me the three bottles of Breeza, the drink for my prep. He was still laughing at my joke and said, “Good you put the cap away!” Met-Yankee fan rivalries are how all rivalries should be. There are no hard feelings. We bond over our antagonism. We’re frenemies. This was my first time with Breeza, previously I had taken barium. Barium is a heavy element, atomic mass 137. Yes, they mix it with other things and try to add flavoring, but it is still vile. Breeza is a mixture of sugar alcohols that are not easily absorbed. The purpose of the Breeza or barium is to fill the intestines so they can be more easily imaged. Breeza is lemon-lime favored, like flat 7-UP. I don’t like lemon-lime soda but it’s not terrible, a lot better than the barium. The difficult part was that I had to drink three bottles. That’s a lot but I managed it.
When I went in for the imaging the charming tech asked me if I could manage to do it on my stomach as that’s better. I thought why not? And said I could. As she was preparing me she said that her day would go much better if other patients were as agreeable as I am. Sadly I have become a skilled patient through too much experience. I get anxiety from stupid things but medica procedures I’m totally relaxed for. That helped some but not enough during the procedure. I was relaxed but my shoulders have limited mobility. I thought I got over that from PT but apparently they froze again. I’ll have to see if I can get PT again. Then to make things worse my nose started running while I was lying with my face buried in the pillow. In the end things got so difficult we had to start again with me on my back. That was far more comfortable. When we did the switch, I got to go to the bathroom. I didn’t ask, she saw that my bladder was full in the images. That’s cool. Even when I’m uncomfortable I enjoy the wonders of science.
The actual MRI is easy. As always I fell asleep during it. I woke up when I heard the mechanical voice telling me that I should keep holding my breath. I hadn’t started, I was asleep when it told me. One thing wrong with the computer voices instructions. It tells you to inhale, then exhale, then hold your breath. To me holding my breath means filling my lungs with air and not exhaling. That’ not what it meant. It means to empty my lungs and not inhale. That takes a little getting used to. I have actually practiced doing that when I was young as Arthur C. Clarke has used that as a trick to cross between spaceships without a spacesuit. If you hold air in your lungs the pressure would rip it right out when you hit the vacuum and your lungs would be damaged. If they are empty it’s not a problem. No, you won’t explode from being in a vacuum, your skin makes a decent spacesuit. Being me, I practiced doing that just in case I was ever in the situation. Thanks to the MRI I was. The trick is to hyperventilate first. If your blood has given up all its CO2 you won’t feel the need to inhale. It does build up again and then you feel the urge.
There is interesting physics, math, and psychology around MRI. Originally it was called NMR which stands for Nuclear Magnetic Resonance. They dropped the Nuclear because the associations people have with the word. If they used it people would think of nuclear energy and nuclear bombs. They would fear radiation. This is ironic as one of the great benefits of MRI is that unlike other imaging technics like CT Scans there are no X-Rays involved. X-Rays cause damage because it is ionizing radiation. That means the individual photos have enough energy to knock and electron out of an atom, turning it into an ion, and making it reactive. That’s why it can cause cancer, if the electron happens to be in a DNA molecule it will damage the gene it is in. All the dangers we associate with radiation are from ionizing radiation. MRI does not use that. It does something much cooler. When an atomic nucleus is placed in a strong magnetic field the nucleus can either align or go in the opposite direction of the applied field. There is a small energy difference between the two states. When a nucleus flips it emits a low energy photo, one with a much longer wavelength, then an x-ray. The shorter the wavelength of a photon the higher the energy. The photos from a hydrogen nucleus flipping are in the radio wave part of the spectrum. RF, short of Radio Frequency waves, are applied to excite the nuclei to the higher state so they can then emit photons that are detected.
Radio waves, microwaves, infrared, visible light, ultraviolet, x-rays, and gamma rays are all electromagnetic radiation in order of decreasing wavelength and increasing energy. It is only from ultraviolet on that they have enough energy to ionize an atom and cause damage. The problem is people hear radiation and get scared. They shouldn’t. If you wanted to avoid electromagnetic radiation you’d have to be in complete darkness. Not only that you’d have to be dead as everything warmer than absolute zero gives off electromagnetic radiation. Our bodies produce copious amounts of infrared. The leftovers from the big bang are at about 2.7 Kelvins, that’s 2.7º Celsius above absolute zero. They produce the cosmic microwave background radiation. Visible light has more energy than microwaves. If you fear microwaves you should fear being in the light. That’s half the piece on radiation I was planning. Maybe I’ll come up with an excuse to write the rest one of these days.
After the procedure I went to my locker and changed into my clothes. They don’t let you wear anything of our own into an MRI. The powerful magnetic fields can make metal fly, even things you think of as not having metal. They warn about some tattoos even. Anything with a tiny amount of metal can cause problems and some materials will absorb the radio waves and heat up. It’s rare but it can happen. So, you take off everything you own, and they give you paper underwear and a robe. It’s not one of those old-fashioned hospital gowns, it’s an honest-to-god robe that closes in the front with tie. If they let me keep it I’d wear it as a bathrobe.
The locker is fun. You sent the four-digit pin when you put your things in and punch it back when you unlock it. It makes sense as you can’t carry around a key. Except for the sore shoulder the entire experience was more interesting than unpleasant. I also got jabbed by an IV and had an injection but that’s nothing.
I was going to stop at Popeye’s on the way home, but I forgot to bring a phone charger and my phone was almost dead. If I can’t order ahead by the app I don’t want to go into the store. Instead I stopped for a couple of slices of dollar pizza that I ate as I walked. I’m not as fanatical about the mask as I once was. If I’m outside and nowhere near anyone I’ll keep the mask off to eat. As soon as I’m done it goes back on. I keep more than 20-feet away from people, not just six.
That was the exciting tale of my MRI. There’s science, food, and laughs. What more can you ask for?
Wise Madness 